Sorry, but I am the Dad and I make the Rules

Kids these days are brats. Kids these days are fat. Kids these days want too much and work for too little. Why are they like this? Because dads have quit being dads and started acting too much like moms. Moms suck! Not at mom stuff, but at telling dads how to be dads. We all know that some moms act like bratty princesses. We all know that some moms are ungrateful. We all know that some moms want a lot and don’t always have to pay blood, sweat, and tears to get it. But, don’t let our kids copy that even if they have a mom who is like that. Don’t let our kids recite excuses, play the victim, or scream about things being unfair. Instead of being passive, like mom told us to be, we should stand up for what we believe & teach our kids values that we can be proud of.

We are men! We are dads! We are strong! We don’t have to tell our kids that they did a good job even when they haven’t. Let mom do that. We don’t have to give them personal time to reflect on their feelings. They can do that when they are kickin’ it with grandma. We don’t have to ask them 20 questions about their day. Mom has that covered. Here’s my suggestion: you be a dad and let your child’s mom be a mom. Kids need both. Kids need to see that there is a difference. Kids need to know that dad specializes in making sure that tomorrow is nothing to fear and that mom specializes in dropping everything to fix your hurt feelings RIGHT NOW.

I see that kids have these homogenized parents (I’ll refer to them as homo-parents) that try to do it all and be as much like the other as possible. Homo-parents try to have a “unified front.” Homo-parents think that their little Johnny is the best soccer player, flutist, mathematician, and lady’s man in the 7th grade. But, we real dads know the truth. Johnny is a fat pansy because no one has ever told him no. Johnny complains that the soccer refs weren’t watching close enough. Johnny talks to 5th grade girls because 7th grade girls know that he’s a schmuck.

Well, I say no more. Pull your denim jeans up by your leather belt and take charge. Be a man’s man. Be a dad that does not excuse his behavior simply because it hurt someone’s feelings. My dad didn’t whisper sweet nothings in my ear. Do you know why? Because he was making sure our house had heat, that the cars got everyone to work, and that the bank account was ready for a school clothes purchase. I was never a little panty waist boy who worried about everything because I knew that my dad had it handled. Loose dog with rabies in the neighborhood… my dad was on it. Tree fell over and crushed the shed… my dad knew the wind was picking up prior to the catastrophe.

I respect my dad a ton. Not because he sat on the couch and asked me about my day (my mom handled that), but because I have lived my whole life knowing that no matter what, my dad had the drive, balls, and determination to make sure that I didn’t fail. It’s not something that is acceptable to him. Johnny’s dad would have been “understanding” if Johnny failed at something. Or, he would have made an excuse to make it NOT look like failure. That’s not the dad I had, nor the dad that I want to be.

Here’s what I think dads should do:

  • Talk to your kids, don’t ask.Tell them about your day. Tell them about your job. Tell them about your tasks. There’s no need to ask about theirs. You’re the dad. When you talk, they will listen. If you talk well, they will want to reply. Always talk well to your kids.
  • Say “no.”As a dad, it’s your job to teach when this word should be used. Be consistent. Stand your ground regardless of crying, pouting, or throwing of fits. Even further, don’t give any attention to their tantrums. Your decision has been made. Move on.
  • Lead.Walking to 7-Eleven? Lead the way. Heading to school every morning? Lead the way. Blaze the trail! Clear the path! Set the pace! Dads don’t lollygag around or act spacey. Lead your children & expect them to keep up. They will.
  • happy family children play with dad at parkBe the tiebreaker.Be the decision maker. Mom can disagree with you, but you get the final say. And sometimes your final say is to enforce mom’s decision. Either way, show your kids that dad doesn’t get stuck at a fork in the road.
  • Support mom.She is the only person on this planet that loves your kids as much, or more, than you. If she does well, your kids do well. If she finishes college, they are more likely to finish college. No matter what happens between you and mom, show your kids that the most important thing in their life is automatically important to you.
  • Guarantee that you’ll see your kids tomorrow.If they do something wrong, you’ll see them. If they do drugs, you’ll see them. If they disappoint you, you’ll see them. As long as your kids are alive, you will always be a dad. As long as they are alive, they’ll always need a dad. It’s a job ’til death. If you don’t like that, too bad.
  • Drag your kids around.Turn off the video game and take them to the post office with you. Have them vacuum the car while you wash it. Make them find finish nails at Home Depot so that you can fix the cabinet that they broke. Dads work. Workers need helpers.
  • Do everything as if you’re being watched.You are. Dads have no secrets. Dads have no regrets. Dads practice what they preach. And dads set the standard for their kids to follow. If you’re doing something that you can’t tell your kids about, it’s wrong.

They say that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I have plenty of opinions about that. But, being a dad is the best job in the world. And, the harder it is, the better you get at it. So, I say be a dad who says, “BRING IT ON!”

Now, stop reading shit on the internet & go mess up your kids’ hair or something.

photo credit: via photopin (license)

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